Ed, Ed, and Eddy is a show I grew up with and not in a super nostalgic way like I did with shows like the old Batman cartoon or Thomas the Tank Engine. No, I literally grew up with Ed, Edd and Eddy. They’re all kids in late elementary or early middle school which is about the age I was when the show came out. And I’ve continued watching it ever since.

Oh sure I’ve actually aged since then while the Eds and Co. have remained the same relative age since day one. But that doesn’t really matter.

The show’s been on for a while now that I think about it. It started when I was in either 4th or 5th grade and there were still new episodes coming out when I was a senior in high school. That’s a pretty fking long time for a cartoon on Cartoon Network. All of the other shows from the time it was released had long since been dead either literally or creatively. Shows like Johnny Bravo, Dexter’s Lab, the Powerpuff Girls, Samurai Jack, Cow and Chicken, and others I can’t remember at the moment. And the worst part about a lot of those shows ending is that few of them got proper endings. Dexter did but that was immediately killed by continuing the series after its creator, Gendy Tartersaucekey, left. The second half of the show was a lot less entertaining.
But Ed, Edd, and Eddy never really declined in value. At least not drastically. The episodes where they’re in school are sometimes not as good as previous episodes but they’re not horrible and some of them are just as good if not better than previous episodes. Maybe that’s why it lasted so long.

Also, I think Ed, Edd, and Eddy is by far one of Cartoon Network’s few remaining good shows. Op. Op. Op. Spoke too soon. The show’s over. Yeah. That’s right. Though thanks to Cartoon Network being the colossal spitfuck that it is I didn’t discover this until very, very recently. Don’t worry kids; it ends on a good note.

And that note is actually a movie called “Ed, Edd, and Eddy’s Big Picture Show”.

Oh, and it’s good.

The plot of the movie is pretty straightforward: It starts immediately after one of the Eds’ famous scams goes horribly, horribly awry which results in all of the other kids chasing them throughout the movie trying to get their revenge. So the Eds are left with only one option and that is to hideout at Eddy’s brother’s place…except they don’t know where that is. The Kanker sisters chase after them as well but for their usual reason instead of revenge.
The animation is better than the show’s but it is a movie after all so that’s to be expected. The jokes are pretty solid. And there are quite a few continuity nods to go around.
The only problem I had with it was that the ending feels a little…rushed. But it ends on a good note which makes up for it in my opinion.
No wait there is another problem. It still hasn’t aired on American TV. Oh sure it’s been shown on European and Asian TV sets but not on an American one which is where the fking show debuted. Supposedly it’s going to air sometime next month but we’ll see how that goes.
If you don’t want to wait then you just go to Youtube and watch the movie on there.
I would link the videos on Youtube here but I feel that would be just wrong. Besides if you care you’ll look that shit up for yourself. You’re a big boy (or girl) now. Hell, if Double-D can invent an fking jetpack out of househould appliances than you can jolly well do a search on Youtube for a made-for-TV movie. Especially since I already gave you the name of it.
Oh but be careful. There’s another version of it on the Tube that’s apparently just a couple of guys dubbing it over or something. It sucks. So have a little a patience I guess. It’s worth it.

Anyways. If you are or ever have been a fan of the show then I highly recommend watching it. If you’ve never been a fan then, well, don’t watch it? I don’t really know what to say to YOU PEOPLE.

Dorks.

I call this “Pt 1″ because this could easily evolve into a 15 part series of posts…it more than like won’t, but hey, I can dream. Can’t I? Yes. I can. This is AMERICA, dammit! I can do whatever I want!

But more on topic I’ve been thinking about stuff lately. And here’s what a list of things that should exist but (as far as I know) don’t.

Number One: A live action X-Men show
I have NO idea why this doesn’t exist. Of all the comic book series that exist in the world this is the one that literally begs to be made into a live action series. A TV series that is. Search your heart, you know it to be true.
I should point out though that I’m not a big X-Men fan or even a big comic book fan in general but I’ve always though that X-Men would be a cool TV series. Think One Tree Hill…but with Mutants!
Actually that’s a bad example. I’ve never watched One Tree Hill so I have no idea what the show’s actually like. Anyway, what people could do is just take X-Men: Evolution and just make that live action instead of a cartoon. That show was cool. And it could totally work as a live action show. It’d be better than Dollhouse anyway. But then, what wouldn’t?

Number Two: A Cowboy Bebop video game
Okay, actually, this technically DOES exist…but only in Japan. So I guess what I’m saying here is that an English version should exist also. Also, I have no idea what the actual game(s?) in existence are like gameplay-wise but what I’d expect from a Bebop game would be a beat’em game with aerial/space dogfight levels. I would imagine playing as all three main characters would be standard. Maybe even play as Ein.
I really wouldn’t care if it followed the show’s plot because, well, the plot from the show is more beneath the waves than it is blaring in your face anyway. Plus the show has a very episodic feel to begin with so adding new stories would be cool.

Number Three: Fking Hoverboards
Alright I’ve lived the world of impossibles for too long. A live action X-Men TV show and even a port of a Cowboy Bebop game are too unrealistic. That’s why I’m ending this post with hoverboards. They’re practical.
And also: WHY DON”T THEY FKING EXIST?!
C’mon man, it’s the one idea the 80s had that didn’t totally suck. And that dick of a flimmaker Robert Zemeckis (I don’t care if that’s how you spell his name or not) totally lied about there being hoverboards already existing. The worst part about that previous sentence? The word “lied”. The second worst is Robert Zemeckis because, uh, well, he made that CGI version of Beowulf. And THAT was godawful.
Still though hoverboards would super special awesome on so many fking levels. It would be like skateboarding but with EVEN GREATER chance for injuries!!
Or at the very least guys just make Tony Hawk’s Pro Hoverboarder. That’s an acceptable compromise, right?

It is, dicks. Now get to it. I don’t have all week for this shit to be birthed into being.

Okay so I’ve been hearing about this here and there throughout the day. Mostly on Twitter. In fact, I only heard about it on Twitter. I had no idea what it was about as I was too lazy to actually look it up but my curiosity finally got the best of me and I headed over to the Beeb to check it out. I was somewhat disappointed in this so-called “Balloon Boy”.

I was hoping for a sequel to 2001’s smash hit “Bubble Boy”.

Sadly this was not what the news story was about in the slightest.

Apparently some kid was thought be stuck in some helium balloon that was adrift up amongst the clouds for a few hours or so. Also, the news decided this was a quote unquote “BIG FKING DEAL” so they evidently covered the shit live until it was over.
Here’s the M. Night Shyamalan twist to the whole thing (WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!!!): the boy was just hiding in the attic the whole time.

Why was he in the attic? I dunno. Maybe Trey Parker and Matt Stone made fun of his religion and he was throwing a one boy pouting session until he could work up the courage to sue them. (Is that reference dated? Who cares?)

Anyways, I didn’t even know this was actually going on until like twenty minutes ago. But I knew it was obviously breaking news when Katy Perry was Tweeting about it. And yes. I follow Katy Perry on Twitter. Shut up.

So yeah. What’s the moral to this story? Is it that parents should watch their kids? Is it that kids shouldn’t be retarded and stop screwing around with weather balloons? Does the media waste people’s time with pointless stories about nothing?
And who’s to blame, really?
Certainly not the parents. They named their kid Falcon. They can do whatever the fuck they want with the kid. Hell, this kid already has the potential to blow up a whole fking galaxy just by having that name.

We should worship this kid.

Laterz.

So eye seesaw this buch om dem shellfish. It were a booky wook (Whatho!) and it had wurds an sukch. Eat were culled Phinny Djinn’s Wake. The buch, this booky wook, was aboot about a dreem. A dreem I dair not dreem fur eye a&m awake (ham I? I ham.)

Sew this kingly king, this Sailor King, did sit belonely betweeth a tree am a plot. He were a hawty king, dis Sailor King. Le bagel était mûr mais son visage était George.

Naklar! Naklar! Ja vole, the moley wohl.

Jimmy the John sedd to tha Kingly Sailyr King that he were knot to be be invited too thee Wayk. (There wur cayk and da Sayler Keengh was allegory to eat) (Oui)

The kingly king ate das laars and it fillyed him up up UP (and awayward). Jim-e Jon was most downset abot dis. So kylld the sayly king wif a pesci della tartaruga (Un pato). The kingly king dyed.

Ev’rywon where sad fur he, the sailer kingly king, wurr a gutlich kingly king-a-mah-jingo. Yaho. (Gewgel)

Jim Jahnn were ex-communioned from da sitty.The town were madd at hem. (Yew wood be two if you wereknot won).

Hallabuloo and zigfreed ross alvo ate das lars butt didint tell no one sew dey wurr knotted exploytid by Jemm Johann, who were der vatervalve. Day decided (coppla) tew keep eet to demshelfs. It wurr the gud thin ter dew.

Den eye thot eye nu wot da storie were bout butte eye didint. It wereint bout nuffing. It were bout ev’ryfing. That is too say, sumfink. Eye fink. (Barton?)

(Translation: Finnegans Wake is an interesting book. You should check it out sometime.)

Zombies.  Why did it have to be zombies?

Why can’t pirates be cool again?  Why doesn’t anybody get into vikings?  Man, I’d even settle for lumberjacks at this point.  Let us just move on from the god damned zombies.

It’s always zombies around here.  Always.  I swear I cannot get away from them!  Our first video is about them!  Dan’s writing is about them!  Our 10th video was about them!  THE PAST 2 POSTS WERE ABOUT THEM!

I suppose it’s the first ever Just Action News Gypsy Woman Curse.   I’m forever to work with a crew who has the undead clawing at the back of his forebrain.

…

Oh, the movie?  Yeah, it’s pretty fun.

For a zombie flick.

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Okay, so, you may have read Dan’s post about Zombieland but you should take that with a grain of salt. He’s one of those people. Yeah. Someone who’s into zombies and stuff. So his opinion on Zombieland isn’t entirely objective. And a review of a film (or anything) should at least be objective (but at most be ignored). Having said that I will now give you my opinion on the flick.

It’s the greatest thing ever.

Alright, I jumped the gun a little. I’m sorry. It’s not the greatest thing ever but it’s definitely one of the best movies to come out this year (after The Hangover which is still Number One in my funny bone) so far.

The problem with talking about this movie is that even the slightest little detail could give away a killer punchline so I’ll try to be careful.

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