I’ve recently started playing video games after not playing them for about three or four years. Not new games, no, old games. I’ve mostly stuck around my console of choice (the Sness) but recently I’ve been replaying Super Mario Sunshine for the GameCube and I’ve realized how underrated that game really is.

I got the game when it came out in…well I was in 7th grade so whatever year that was. 2002? Somewhere around there I think. I’m too lazy to look it up even though I just Google searched an image of the game. So yeah. Anyway. I liked the game. I still like it actually though quite a few people I’ve talked to about it in casual conversation (most of conversations are casual, I think) seem to consider it at best: “lame” and at worst: “double lame”. Which is weird to me. Whenever asked why they always say “it’s not as good as Super Mario 64″.
Uh, it’s NOT Super Mario 64 for starters. For one it has better controls and graphics. I mean sure, yeah, the premise is the same but it’s a Mario game. What do you expect? Innovation? Actually, every new Mario game seems to set the standard for the platforming genre so yeah I guess you should expect that. Though I still feel the comparison to the first 3D Mario game is unfair for two reasons.
1.) SM64 came out around 1996 (I think; again, too lazy to look it up) back when 3D games were mostly craptacular explorations into why buying the new console on the market was a dumb move. SM64 changed that. It basically said “Hey blockheads, THIS is how you make a 3D platformer. Morons.” And half a decade later Sunshine come out and by that point we’ve had billions upon billions of 3D platformers that didn’t suck (granted I can’t remember any of them except for the Sonic Adventure series pre-Heroes) so it’s not surprising that the game wouldn’t be as revolutionary as its predecessor.
2.) As mentioned just a few sentences ago Sunshine came out half a decade after SM64 which is just long for nostalgia to set in (especially since SM64 was like the first game of the N64 whereas Sunshine wasn’t the first game for the GameCube) and that nostalgia tends to gloss over the many flaws of that game. The controls and camera were not that good compared to later games because, well, things get better with age more often than not. Case in point: Majora’s Mask is better than Ocarina of Time but that’s whole another thing altogether.

Anyway. Enough of that noise. The game is good if frustrating at times. Oh yeah. The game loves to go back and forth between traditional Nintendo fun and traditional Nintendo hell. Some people complain about the water jet pack thing you’re forced to use throughout the game as a gimmick like Luigi’s Mansion’s vacuum cleaner of doom. But unlike the ghost-sucking Hoover of LM the water pack thing actually works pretty well. Well, the jet pack version of it anyway. It makes jumping easier as it gives more control over where you land. The motor add-on is basically useless outside of specific areas as is the rocket add-on. The main squirt gun mode is, well, a squirt gun.

The graphics of the game are pretty well done. Though compared to stuff now they may not stand up but they definitely fit the tone of the game which being a Mario game is light-hearted and fun. The effects of the painty sludge stuff are pretty cool especially when Mario gets covered in it and it actually remains on him until you either clean off with water or enter a level or something.

Oh, and the story. Well. Bowser kidnaps Peach. Again. There’s also the thing of someone impersonating Mario and painting up the whole isle of Delfino (the game’s location) and blah blah blah. It’s a Mario game. Who the F cares about the plot?

The controls work and are pretty fluid. Jumping around the main hub world is definitely a fun way to kill time for shits and giggles. The inclusion of the jet pack makes it better.

As for weaknesses, well, there are plenty to be found. First off: the difficulty. Overall the game isn’t hard but there are certain Shine Sprites (the game’s Stars) that near impossible to get purely because the obstacle course you have to navigate through (sans jet pack) are unforgiving. One mistake and you die unless you manage to snag an extra life before then. And then there are some parts that just too easy. But this isn’t like a contrast between early and late game levels. This happens almost from the beginning. Another major weakness of the game is the boss battles. They’re easy. I mean RIDICULOUSLY easy. Even the last boss (SPOILERS: it’s Bowser) is easy. You also fight the same bosses two or three times a piece so it gets redundant fast.

So yeah, all in all, the game isn’t bad. It’s actually pretty good. It’s kinda like the Wind Waker (another GameCube release). It got a lot of flak for changing the series (aesthetically anyway) and as such is looked down upon as the Cousin Oliver of the series. So, uh, check it out if you haven’t? I’m done.

I call this “Pt 1″ because this could easily evolve into a 15 part series of posts…it more than like won’t, but hey, I can dream. Can’t I? Yes. I can. This is AMERICA, dammit! I can do whatever I want!

But more on topic I’ve been thinking about stuff lately. And here’s what a list of things that should exist but (as far as I know) don’t.

Number One: A live action X-Men show
I have NO idea why this doesn’t exist. Of all the comic book series that exist in the world this is the one that literally begs to be made into a live action series. A TV series that is. Search your heart, you know it to be true.
I should point out though that I’m not a big X-Men fan or even a big comic book fan in general but I’ve always though that X-Men would be a cool TV series. Think One Tree Hill…but with Mutants!
Actually that’s a bad example. I’ve never watched One Tree Hill so I have no idea what the show’s actually like. Anyway, what people could do is just take X-Men: Evolution and just make that live action instead of a cartoon. That show was cool. And it could totally work as a live action show. It’d be better than Dollhouse anyway. But then, what wouldn’t?

Number Two: A Cowboy Bebop video game
Okay, actually, this technically DOES exist…but only in Japan. So I guess what I’m saying here is that an English version should exist also. Also, I have no idea what the actual game(s?) in existence are like gameplay-wise but what I’d expect from a Bebop game would be a beat’em game with aerial/space dogfight levels. I would imagine playing as all three main characters would be standard. Maybe even play as Ein.
I really wouldn’t care if it followed the show’s plot because, well, the plot from the show is more beneath the waves than it is blaring in your face anyway. Plus the show has a very episodic feel to begin with so adding new stories would be cool.

Number Three: Fking Hoverboards
Alright I’ve lived the world of impossibles for too long. A live action X-Men TV show and even a port of a Cowboy Bebop game are too unrealistic. That’s why I’m ending this post with hoverboards. They’re practical.
And also: WHY DON”T THEY FKING EXIST?!
C’mon man, it’s the one idea the 80s had that didn’t totally suck. And that dick of a flimmaker Robert Zemeckis (I don’t care if that’s how you spell his name or not) totally lied about there being hoverboards already existing. The worst part about that previous sentence? The word “lied”. The second worst is Robert Zemeckis because, uh, well, he made that CGI version of Beowulf. And THAT was godawful.
Still though hoverboards would super special awesome on so many fking levels. It would be like skateboarding but with EVEN GREATER chance for injuries!!
Or at the very least guys just make Tony Hawk’s Pro Hoverboarder. That’s an acceptable compromise, right?

It is, dicks. Now get to it. I don’t have all week for this shit to be birthed into being.

For a game as moody and solidly fun as [PROTOTYPE], it’s really nothing we haven’t seen before.

That’s not to say it’s bad, it just means that it’s covering a lot of territory already tread.  I’m specifically thinking of a notable last-gen super-hero game, and seeing as developers Radical Entertainment were responsible both games in question, this shouldn’t come as much surprise.  But I digress.

[PROTOTYPE] is a sandbox adventure game in which you play as Alex Mercer, amnesiac ex-scientist with freaky genetic shape-shifting powers and a thirst for revenge. (Is there any other kind of hero nowadays?)  Bloody murder is the order of the day, and you deliver it to the good people of Manhattan with ease by the truckload.  Bystanders, black-op military units, and beastial genetic miscreants not unlike yourself all get suitably clubbed, slashed, clawed, smashed, exploded, pummeled and consumed to your heart’s content as you travel through a world of government intrigue and conspiracy.  The plot (as I refer to it loosely) involves a terrible viral outbreak that not only gives Mercer his bizarre abilities, but sees fit to turn the populous into zombies and other quadrupedal nasties, complete with hive ‘queen’ that’s a shameless Kerrigan ripoff if I’ve ever seen one.  And that’s a theme that runs throughout this game.  Stuff you’ve already seen elsewhere, done better.

• Zombie Apocalypse?  Check.
• Superhumans in Manhattan?  Check.
• Bio-organic-mechanical weapons and armor?  Check.
• Secret government conspiracy?  Check.
• Really, really douchey fashion sense?  Check.

The military engineers a weaponized virus, something goes wrong, it infects the populous at large, and one guy manages not only to not die, but get awesome mutant powers from it.  Am I the only one sick to death of this trope?

(more…)

Yesterday marked the end of the year’s second largest geek-news generating convention. Unfortunately, cosplay is alive and well.

San Diego’s annual ComicCon is the place to get all the latest news on movies, games, comics, and generally anything else you can think of that is related to geeks. Okay, enough with the boring shit, let’s get to the high lights.

- Johnny Depp looks like a jackass in the new “Alice”.

-Iron Man 2 features a new villain. Mickey Rourke as Mickey Rourke with metal on.

-Tron Lightcycle looks a lot like the Bat cycle. Let’s hope Jeff Bridges doesn’t get throat cancer.

-Most fat in one room since Kirstie Alley lost the weight.

-Seth Rogen is the Green Hornet. I’m not making this shit up.

-Twilight is somehow relevant. Hey, if it makes money, it makes money.

-Avatar looks like it’s going to be good. Or a peice of shit. I can’t tell.

-Jackie Earl Haley is playing Freddy in the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street. Slap in the face to Robert Englund, who is, to my knowledge, still alive.

-My favroite book series will not be finished in the half-completed movie series.

-Jim Carrey is reprising his role as the Grinch in, “A Christmas Carol.”
So there you have it. Amongst some news about L4D2, which is all I care about, there wasn’t much gaming news.

Most of my info came from pics over at www.imdb.com and news at www.kotaku.com

The boys put the NO-L4D2 group on blast. For six minutes.

It’s a little late, and this is going to be, admittedly, a tad rushed, but I figured that, since I beat the game within a week of buying it, I should review it.

Mass Effect is one of those games where once you start playing it, you’re not going to stop until it’s over. It was the first RPG in years that I have finished. In fact, I think it might be the ONLY one I have finished.

There are over 30 hours of gameplay, if you do all of the side missions and whatnot. I didn’t. It really only took me about 10 hours to finish the game.

The game itself wasn’t bad at all. The story was compelling, original (to my knowledge), and the gameplay was fun. The controls for PC were a tad wonky, but I suspect it was built for consoles, thus the PC gets the short end, as always.

The game took a lot of heat for having controversial sex scenes, which, having seen them, aren’t really controversial.

That’s about the extent of the first one.

The scene with the human one is a little more graphic, but then again, I can get more porn from a childrens website.

Overall, I thought the game was good, it was fairly long, had some great battles and kept me guessing.

I thought it was kind of cool that you could talk your way out of battles if you wished.

I did, however, find it odd that you could talk your way out of a boss battle.

When the scene was over, I said, “Easiest boss battle ever, I talked him into killing himself!”

So, if you’re a fan of RPG’s, go out and get Mass Effect. Worth every penny. Even if you’re not a fan of RPG’s, get it. It’s a fun game.

Also theres a characted with the moniker Ashley Williams. That’s right.