So apparently there’s this blog that monitors what movies are illegally downloaded and well, here’s the top 5 (of 2009):

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. It seems wrong doesn’t it? I mean seriously. Why the F isn’t The Hangover in the number one spot? That movie was ten times better than Star Trek and Transformers combined. I mean, yeah, Star Trek was pretty good but Transformers was just godawful. Anyway. Yeah. The Hangover got jooed. Oh well. There’s always the Oscars…

(Oh, and other movies included in the top ten most illegally downloaded movies for 2009 would be District 9, Harry Potter 6, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. In case you cared.)

Okay so I’ve been hearing about this here and there throughout the day. Mostly on Twitter. In fact, I only heard about it on Twitter. I had no idea what it was about as I was too lazy to actually look it up but my curiosity finally got the best of me and I headed over to the Beeb to check it out. I was somewhat disappointed in this so-called “Balloon Boy”.

I was hoping for a sequel to 2001’s smash hit “Bubble Boy”.

Sadly this was not what the news story was about in the slightest.

Apparently some kid was thought be stuck in some helium balloon that was adrift up amongst the clouds for a few hours or so. Also, the news decided this was a quote unquote “BIG FKING DEAL” so they evidently covered the shit live until it was over.
Here’s the M. Night Shyamalan twist to the whole thing (WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!!!): the boy was just hiding in the attic the whole time.

Why was he in the attic? I dunno. Maybe Trey Parker and Matt Stone made fun of his religion and he was throwing a one boy pouting session until he could work up the courage to sue them. (Is that reference dated? Who cares?)

Anyways, I didn’t even know this was actually going on until like twenty minutes ago. But I knew it was obviously breaking news when Katy Perry was Tweeting about it. And yes. I follow Katy Perry on Twitter. Shut up.

So yeah. What’s the moral to this story? Is it that parents should watch their kids? Is it that kids shouldn’t be retarded and stop screwing around with weather balloons? Does the media waste people’s time with pointless stories about nothing?
And who’s to blame, really?
Certainly not the parents. They named their kid Falcon. They can do whatever the fuck they want with the kid. Hell, this kid already has the potential to blow up a whole fking galaxy just by having that name.

We should worship this kid.

Laterz.

So a friend of mine, someone I know pretty well, suggested to me in the most subtle of ways that I search out and look up this fine fellow known as “Childish Gambino”. I was taken aback slightly for I did not know who he was. This name, this “Gambino”, was foreign to my noble ears. But, said my friend, he is not so foreign. In fact, he continued, you are already well acquainted with him for he is on of those men of men who travel under the banner of Derrickcomedy. He’s the black dude.

Also, he raps. His rapper name is Childish Gambino.

Ahhh, I said after finishing of my glass of water, now that makes more sense.
Indeed, said he, now go look him and his dope beats up.
So I did.

Now I know not everyone is into rap. It’s not a universal appeal. But good music is good music regardless of genre. I myself have outgrow the notions of genre. It’s much more fun to just listen to music when there’s no pretext to associate with it. You can form your own opinions! *audible gasp!*
Childish Gambino is by far one of the best rappers I’ve heard in a long time. His songs are in the vein of Afroman in that they don’t take themselves too seriously. However, Gambino doesn’t rap about smoking pot all day. His songs are more or less odes to his badassness (with tongue-in-cheek) and hundreds upon billions of pop culture references. He even namedrops the Animaniacs at one point (with a clever bit of word play to go along with it).
So if you like rap then check him out. If you don’t like rap then check him out anyway you uncultured simian. What have you got to lose?

Also, all of his stuff is free and online. You can download individual songs and whole albums (I think he has two and I highly recommend “Poindexter”) but I think you have to use Internet Explorer to do so. Anyways, you can find you his site right here. Oh wait. Sorry. I meant here.

Man I am so glad I don’t live in South Africa. That place just seems like a horrible place from all the things I keep hearing about it. I mean it got invaded by aliens a few weeks ago. How much would that suck? Plus that place is already rife with political and racial strife. How much worse could this place get?

Oh it gets worse. Yes. The rumors are true.

The internet in South Africa sucks eggs. Big time. And I’m not joking (though it is supremely hilarious).

And yes, this is true. The Beeb said so and they’ve never lied to us before have they? (The answer is no…ish.)

“But!” I hear you exclaim in protest. “How slow is the internet in South Africa?”

And I answer with a smug smile and knowing glance, “Slower than a pigeon”.

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It was bound to happen simply because it already has in the present of the future.  However, the Khronos Group, who are obviously a group of rogue time-travelers bent on disrupting the space-time continuum through the proliferation of future technologies in the past (the name kinda sells ‘em out), is bringing it to the now.

If you’ve never heard of them, the Khronos Group is responsible for, of many things, the OpenGL standard.  Yes, they made it possible for you to play World of Warcraft on your Mac and allow id Software to appease the Linux gaming community time and time again…time… Do you see a connection forming?

Their newest gift to the past is WebGL.  The basic aim is to provide 3D accelerated graphics in your web browser, without a plugin, by leveraging new features in HTML5 and the marked performance improvements in JavaScript.  They’re gonna pull it off too.  They’ve got support from two major graphics card vendors (AMD and NVIDIA) plus pledges from Mozilla, Google, and Opera to support it in their browsers.  On top of that, Apple has a big hand in the Khronos Group so you can expect them to follow suit.

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I love conventions, if only for the people that haunt these things.  I’m a big people-watcher, and without a doubt one of the best places to do it is Comic-Con.  I didn’t have the luck to make it out myself, but the guys at Maximum PC and io9 got a pretty wide swath of photos from the convention floor.  And in the great tradition of armchair internet doucebaggery, we’re here to ruthlessly tease everyone who decided to cosplay the event.  I look at it like this… they wouldn’t dress up like anime characters if they didn’t want the attention.

This is going to be a graphics heavy post… users with slow connections would be best advised to stop living in the past and get a T1 line. (more…)